I recently joined several online Al-Anon groups because I feel that I need to move past the fact that my father is an alcoholic. I am finding it difficult to adopt the program because of its emphasis on God. Other Al-Anon members think it is reassuring to say that Al-Anon isn't affiliated with any sect or denomination. That may reassure someone with religious belief of some kind, but not if you have none at all.
The fundamental premise of Al-Anon seems to be that you have to hand over your control to a "higher power": "Members are not required to accept someone else's concept of God, only to trust that there is a power "greater than themselves" however they wish to describe it or understand it." This is fundamentally incompatible with atheism.
I can understand the need to relinquish control over things that you can't control (like another's drinking). But in order to do that, I don't see the need to believe that something else is in control. I find it more reassuring that nothing is in control, but that runs so counter to the Al-Anon ethos that I'm not sure I see a place for myself in the group. Which is a shame, because I don't really see any other organizations that support the families and friends of alchoholics.
I don't spend much time on YouTube, but occasionally people send me stuff. The other day one of my project partners brought up this video from a British medical school review show (if you're unfamiliar with these types of shows they are usually in very bad taste but very clever and funny). I watched the Anaesthetist's Hymn (actually quite well done) and asked for the link for my partner's niece (who's husband is, yep, an anesthetist--or anesthesiologist as we call them here).
That's when the trouble started. Niece had already seen it (no big deal), but partner now insists on playing this video every. day. And five times on days when I'm desperately trying to get assignments done and would appreciate being able to hear myself think. Or hear Columbo find that vital clue as I pant away on the treadmill. But no, instead I have to hear this:
I'm behind (still) and I'm running out of plot since all I had was an idea for a short story. And I got another assignment today which means I have about 15 000 words of researched non-fiction to do this month between all of my assignments.
I'm at a bit of a loss because I don't want to word pad. I also can't skip any assignments ... if I ever get an idea that would have me writing enough to consider that. *sigh*
Well, since the NaNo site isn't providing any motivation this year (or much of anything else at the moment), I thought maybe we could have our own little motivation page in our NaNo group. I don't know about anyone else, but seeing someone's word count being higher than mine motivates me to put my butt back in my chair and type.
Since the NaNo stats page is down, we could all post our word count tickers here as comments. Then we would have one page to come to, to see where everyone is at. Of course, for some tickers this means depending on the NaNo site to be at least accepting word count (please, please, please, don't let THAT be turned off too). If the site is down completely (as has been known to happen *cough*), there is always TickerFactory.com.
Any takers?
In between procrastinating (read: doing school work ... er, and checking forums) I noticed that the NoWrists Nano Counter is now up and running properly so I thought I'd let you all know (the graphs are great motivators).
My favourite is the speedometer that shows you whether you are on pace, waaaaaaaaaaaay below (me!) or way above:
There is also one that lets you track others progress against your own (it picks people from your buddies list):
And two versions of a graph:
Now that I've embarrassed myself by showing in graphic detail how far behind I am, I will go and try to catch up!
... to find out that what you thought was your personality--what you thought was a choice--is actually the result of biology or environment and it's not free will after all.
I read an article in NewScientist about face blindness (or prosopagnosia if you like) and instantly thought: "That's me!" For anyone who doesn't know, face blindness means that your brain doesn't recognize human faces as anything special (which it's supposed to) so distinguishing one face from another is more difficult (or, for some people, impossible). If you've always known that you have problems recognizing people or learning people's faces, you're probably a prosopagnosic of some degree.
Anyway, it seems that people with this problem have other traits (which I have but thought were just my personality):
- They don't wear, or rarely wear, make-up (check)
- They don't style their hair or only do it when society expects it (check)
- They hate shopping for clothes (check)
People have always thought I was strange because of how much I hate clothes shopping or that I don't wear make-up. I never even considered that it was related to biology in any way.
I wonder what else I think I'm choosing that I'm not really choosing at all.
Another year, another Nano. Once again this year I find myself with enough plot/characterization for a short story. A really, really short story. And for the second year running I find myself in the middle of a college term with assignments already demanding all of my time in October. How am I ever going to survive November? I have no clue.
And yet, I'm excited. I get to do the kind of writing I like to do instead of the kind of writing that (hopefully) will pay the bills in a year or two. Instead of getting lost in someone else's universe, I get to create my own. And as any of you who've done this before know, you never know what's going to happen in that universe. Just because you create your characters doesn't mean they'll go where you want them to go or say what you want them to say. I'm going to tell myself a story and I have no idea how it's going to end or what will happen along the way.
I can't wait!
